The Philippines is known for being a deeply family-oriented society. Yet for the values it espouses, this culture often forgets the invisible maternal labour that holds families together. Mothers often take on a disproportionate amount of child-rearing responsibility, from cleaning up after children to ensuring their homework is completed on time. They are expected to prioritise family members, often at the expense of their well-being. But through the efforts of organisations such as Beacon, mothers are given the space to validate their experiences in a reassuring community.
Read on for Kate Delos Reyes’s advice for breaking the stigma around maternal mental health, concrete tips on building a supportive community, and her goals for empowering mothers in the future.
What was your biggest challenge when starting Beacon, and how did you overcome it?
We are trying to help such a niche market composed of self-sacrificing mothers who are taught to meet the needs of their families first. We read all these motivational posters that say ‘Put yourself first,’ but as a mother, that can feel impossible. Mothers often struggle with burnout, anxiety and depression. They also face challenging transitions as their children go from baby to toddler, from toddler to school age, and so on. The family schedule often has to be overhauled. There are also gender roles that impact how the responsibilities are distributed at home.
We’re trying to break the societal stigma around mums asking for help. This is where Beacon’s message comes in: ‘Well mothers mother well’. We encourage mothers to care for themselves like they do their children. We do this by starting intimate conversations with the mothers in our community through social media and our platform.
How does Beacon break the stigma around issues such as postpartum depression and maternal mental health?
When it comes to reducing the stigma, telling our unique stories about our experiences with motherhood is important. It’s also essential to have the right support system that understands what you’re going through. What Beacon provides is the opportunity to speak with people who have lived through these struggles. For Beacon, I work with therapists who are parents themselves and who also understand Filipino family values and how to navigate them.
What advice would you give to struggling mothers who are hesitant to seek help, but who want to build a community of their own?
Acknowledge that your feelings are valid—especially the ones that are difficult to accept. Speak with someone you trust who can support you in the way you need it. Support doesn’t always come in the form of talking. It can be someone doing the chores, looking after your child or delivering food to your home. Build and nourish your connections with family and friends. Your circle may look different from what you had before [because] not everyone is emotionally equipped to support mothers in their experiences. Having people who understand and support you unconditionally is key to making it through the journey.
What is your vision for the future of maternal mental health in the Philippines, and how can Beacon contribute to that?
I hope to see maternal mental health on every agenda: at home, at work, in local government units, and more. We often see a lot of discussions around reproductive health, which is important. However, maternal mental health deserves more representation in the discussion.
The possibilities for Beacon’s involvement in that are endless, but my energy is not. But baby steps are good enough as long as they’re going in the right direction. Coming from an e-commerce background, I used to think differently as everything there was fast-paced and performance-driven. But, with Beacon, I have to move slowly and deliberately, but it’s ultimately rewarding.
Does Beacon have any upcoming activities that we should be aware of?
On October 18, we will be launching our maternal mental health advocacy campaign called “Moms Speak Up.” We’re encouraging mothers and people in their community to raise awareness of and drive action for maternal mental health.
We recently surveyed 200 mothers, so we’ll be sharing the findings of that then. We’ll also be talking about other mental health issues like anxiety, OCD, bipolar disorder, and psychosis. We also want to equip people with the tools they need to show up for the mothers in their lives. We hope that this campaign helps mothers listen to their own needs and set better boundaries in their lives. Hopefully, these baby steps will lead to moms feeling and being better.
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